Answer in Details
Your inclination toward different deities at various stages of life is a natural part of spiritual evolution, and it is well-acknowledged in the teachings and philosophy surrounding Lord Shiva.
From the Shaiva perspective, all deities are manifestations of the one Supreme Consciousness, which is often identified with Shiva himself. The inclination towards a particular form of the Divine is known as
"Ishta Devata Bhava"—the feeling of a personal connection with a chosen deity. According to Shiva's teachings, especially as explained in texts like the Shiva Purana and through the wisdom of Shaiva saints, this inclination arises from your inner samskaras (impressions from past actions and lives) and your soul's unique journey.
What does it mean?
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Divine Play (Lila): Shiva teaches that the world and its experiences are his own play (lila). Your attraction toward various deities is also a part of this divine play, guiding you toward deeper truth.
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Path to the Absolute: Lord Shiva himself is often called the "Adiyogi" (the first yogi) and teaches that all paths, if followed with sincerity, ultimately lead to the same Supreme Reality. By being drawn to different forms, you are exploring different aspects of the Divine, which ultimately helps you recognize the unity behind all forms.
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Inner Readiness: Your inclination changes as your inner readiness and understanding deepen. When the mind is mature and ready for deeper truths, Shiva’s grace draws you closer, as he is known as "Ashutosh" (easily pleased), responding to sincere devotion in any form.
Shiva's Wisdom on Devotion:
In the Shiva Purana, it is said:
_"All forms are mine, all names are mine. Worshipping any form with true devotion reaches me."_
What should you do?
- Respect your spiritual journey and the forms you have loved.
- Understand that Shiva embraces all seekers, regardless of the path or form they choose, as long as there is sincerity and love.
- If you feel drawn to Shiva now, embrace his teachings of detachment, meditation, and inner stillness, for he is the Lord who leads all souls to liberation (moksha).
In summary, your changing inclination is a reflection of your soul’s quest for the ultimate truth, and Lord Shiva’s philosophy teaches us to honor all forms while realizing the oneness behind them.